I want to walk on stilts...naked
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
