I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
