i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
