i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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