she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
