But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
