I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We need to get me chipped asap
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
