I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
