I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize