last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
