everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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