I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize