Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize