The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
