i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i will never coherently bang her
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
