whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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