i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
