Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize