It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
