That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
