Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
