i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
