Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
