Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
