You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
