I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
