I think i peed on brittanys purse
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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