Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
