giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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