Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
