time to smoke my breakfast
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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