That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
