why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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