Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
