I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
