shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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