You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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