Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
