Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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