I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize