Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
