you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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