she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
