Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
