the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When are your genitals available?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
