these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
