She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
