guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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