i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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