I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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