Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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