he thought i was a dude.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
