i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
