dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
