We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just found puke in my bra..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
