Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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