i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
