Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
