i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
