I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
