He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
