my phone needs a breathalizer
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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