I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
