Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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