Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize