May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
