I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
