I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize