Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
