i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
