Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
