Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
