There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
