I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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