It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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