he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize