did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
